Archive for October, 2008

Timid Doppelganger

“My dear doctor,

I shall make you a confession … I have been struggling with the question of why I have never, in all these years, made an effort to meet you … I think I have avoided you out of a kind of fear of finding my own double . . . When I read one of your beautiful works I seem to encounter again and again, behind the poetic fiction, the very presumptions, interests and conclusions so well known to me from my own thoughts . . . Your ability to be deeply moved by the truths of the unconscious, the recurrence of your thoughts to the polarity of love and death—all of this had for me an uncanny familiarity . . . Forgive me for straying into analysis—that is, after all, all I know. ” - letter from Freud to Arthur Schnitzler

You must stay there and be wonderful, any kind of closeness will ruin me. I shall lose identity and fragrant pillows over you, tigress of my soul, epidemics of my fabric.

A Time of Cardigans

To open a closet of grey clothes, seeking option. I haven’t worn you for such a long time, my dears, my treasure and everyone else’s trash.

What is quite horrible in this circumstance is knowing they wrap meaning around your feelings for them and you are in fact blank. They circle your ankles like dogs with tumours, hoping in that salty human way that their words still cause a reaction in you. You only wish it would all stop, mouth full of mercy and unsweetened tea.

If only we could all be happy at the same time.